Hello my friends !
How are you doing?
Most of you will have known by now, I was off for a week on a Cruise – which was absolutely fabulous !
I spend a lot of time working and boy was I in need of a break – balance is key !
Relaxed, recharged and ready to go !
Last night I had received a phone call from a friend who was struggling with a setback in her personal journey, which has prompted today’s topic.
Before we get started, if this feels like YOU right now – please know this;
We ALL have setbacks!
But, the good news is - behind every setback is an opportunity for GROWTH
We can all be guilty of comparing our lives to others, and in a lot of cases we only see the ‘success’ or the ‘happiness’ on the outside, but not the mountain of challenges and hurdles along the way.
Did you know this?
Steven Spielberg was rejected multiple times from USC’s School of Cinematic Hearts before releasing the 1975 classic ‘Jaws’.
Before writing one of the most successful book series in modern history – JK Rowling was living on welfare. It took her seven years to write the first Harry Potter novel, and then, all twelve major publishing houses at that time rejected the book before being accepted.
Oprah Winfrey was born into deep poverty and raised by a single mother living on welfare. She was physically, mentally, and sexually abused during her childhood. She then ran away from home and got pregnant when she was just fourteen-years-old. She tragically lost the baby shortly after birth.
Despite her initial struggles as a young girl, she turned herself into one of the most successful individuals of our time !
You may be facing a huge setback right now – the loss of a job, a relationship breakup, major financial difficulty, but no matter how big or small; it isn’t always easy but we always have a choice in how we respond to any given situation.
We cannot control the fact that there will always be setbacks in our personal and professional lives – but we absolutely CAN control how we react !
Here are 4 top tips to help you to overcome a setback you may be facing;
STEP 1. FIND THE LEARNING OPPORTUNITY
Depending on the circumstances this isn’t always easy - but when faced with setbacks in life, finding the learning opportunity is one of the healthiest coping strategies.
Maybe your needs weren't truly being met in the relationship?
Possibly a new qualification or skill is required to get you that job you want?
Or perhaps, some mentoring with a marketing professional could help you to take a step further in your business?
Whether the situation is personal or professional - Ask yourself; What can I learn from this?
STEP 2. TAKE A BREAK
Due to the impact that setbacks can have on emotional and mental health, sometimes, taking a break is one of the best coping skills.
The willingness to take a break doesn’t mean giving up on a goal you’ve been working to achieve; it simply means clearing your head, regrouping, and later returning to the situation with a fresh mindset and potentially new ideas.
Many great goals in life take time, effort, and persistence to achieve.
STEP 3. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH THE RIGHT PEOPLE
Keeping good company and spending time with people who have your best interests at heart is a fantastic addition to this list of coping skills. Believe it or not, being around other people can actually ease the process of coping in the face of setbacks.
Surrounding yourself with loved ones is not only good for your mental health, but it can also provide an outlet for you to vent and share your thoughts with others. In turn, you can release pent-up emotions and possibly even learn something from the feedback you get in return. Knowing the right coping strategies is great, but being around people who can help you as you cope also makes a positive difference.
And if needs be, reach out to a professional for help.
STEP 3. REASSESS THE SITUATION
This is where you assess how bad you want what is on the other side.
Take away the image, the money, someone else's opinion – how bad do YOU want it?
We have limited time, money and resources. It isn’t prudent to spend them on things we don’t really want. Some setbacks are meant to differentiate those that only desire the prize to those that want it badly.
STEP 4. PLAN YOUR NEW PATH FORWARD
Similar to finding the learning opportunity in setbacks, considering an alternative path forward is also on the list of great coping strategies.
Make no mistake: looking at a different path forward doesn’t mean that you should switch or even give up on a goal; it simply means that there is almost always more than one way of getting somewhere.
Finding an alternative path for going forward doesn’t always happen overnight…and that’s OK !
Sometimes, determining another route takes time, thought, and reflection. Each of these things can also benefit your mental health and allow you to actually learn from the setback.
And lastly, jot this one down; NOT ALL SETBACKS ARE NEGATIVE !
As a matter of fact, there are times when setbacks can be blessings in disguise.
Sometimes, a setback could actually prevent you from going down a wrong path or making a decision that you might regret later.
Whether it seems it right now or not, you are always exactly where you should be my friend.
“You cannot connect the dots looking forward, you can only connect them looking backwards”